I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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