Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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