I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
