ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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