the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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