small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
