she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize