What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
