So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
