I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
