You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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