I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
