I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize