So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
