My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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