it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
