You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
