then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
