i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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