the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
