I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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