Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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