I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
