Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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