So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
