But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
