So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize