My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
