too bad you live with your parents still
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
