one might say we're banned from that church
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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