woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
