Banned from zoo.
Again?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
