I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
