It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
