thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
