it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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