Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Randomize
