Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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