Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
