my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
