I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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