I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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