watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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