I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
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