Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize