peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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