Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
