I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
