If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
