butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Walk of Shame today included voting.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize