She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
it was like eating out sand paper
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
That accounts for only three of the penises
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Randomize
