you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
