how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
