I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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