It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
