my soul wont recognize me after tonight
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
