Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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