I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
