stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
