It's like God shit irony all over that family
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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