I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize
