u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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