Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize