She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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