my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
