He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
