How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
