everyone is single if you try hard enough
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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