I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Terrible idea I love it
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
