Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
