if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
