YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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