he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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