After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
