I can tuck mytits in my pants
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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